Story One, Episode One: An Unearthly Child

Story: An Unearthly Child
Original Airdate: 11/23/1963
Doctor: William Hartnell
Featured Characters: The Doctor (#1), Susan Foreman, Ian Chesterton, Barbara Wright

Plot Synopsis: In North London, there is an old guy is living in a police box in a junkyard with a teenager claiming to be his granddaughter. Two well-meaning, but ultimately stupid, schoolteachers try to figure out why.


Our Thoughts:

:20 - The opening is by far the creepiest thing we have seen in a long, long time. A good portion of that is due with the quality of the surviving footage, or rather, the lack thereof. I have seen silent movies in better physical condition than this episode. The theme song, with it’s bizarre whistling and proto-electronica beats, did nothing to soothe our uneasiness.

1:30 - Susan is shown listening to the world’s greatest transistor radio... or a Walkman... or an MP3 player. Hey... she’s a time traveler. It’s possible - neigh probable - that she brought back an iPod or two.

3:00 - The two teachers - Barbara Wright and Ian Chesterton - will not stop talking! We don’t care what you think about Susan! A little bit back story is fine, but you’re abusing the privilege! Stop it!

4:00 - At long last, it’s the Doctor. He looks like Ebenezer Scrooge’s more eccentric brother. You know... the one who talks in riddles and lives in the universe's most kick-ass police box.

5:00 - The Doctor is having a grand old time mocking the two stupid people who will not stop talking. I (Andy) like his style. Mantra, on the other hand, just thinks he's being an asshole.

7:00 - Ian cannot wrap his head around the fact that Susan and the crazy man wearing an ugly hat are not squatting in a police box. Come on... it’s really not that hard.

10:00 - The Doctor has a frightening set of teeth. I honestly don’t know if it’s makeup or if the stories about British dental care are true.

13:00 - Ian is stupid. Not only is Barbara stupid, she’s patronizing.

17:00 - Lights are flashing! The Doctor is yelling! Things are happening!

20:00 - ...And great. The Doctor, his annoying granddaughter and two dumbest schoolteachers in all of England are somewhere in time.

22:00 The last thing we see is the TARDIS sitting in a field, surrounded by nothing but twigs, paper mache and an ominous shadow. Our years of watching science fiction are telling us that the person that the shadow belongs to wants cause harm to The Doctor and company. Knowing the budgetary restrictions these shows had at the time, the shadow more than likely belongs to a stagehand that didn’t understand the phrase “Hey Terry! You're in the shot! Move out of the damn way!” After all, it was cheaper to keep the shadow in than restart the scene from the beginning.


What We Learned: People in 1960’s England are boring and cannot stop talking.

Overall Thoughts: Boring. That said, we do want to see what happens next. Maybe Susan gets eaten by a dinosaur or something. Sure, we wouldn’t get to see it due to the aforementioned budgetary issues, but it doesn’t matter. Ian has already proven that he is a natural born play-by-play man. Harry Carey, Mike Lange and Jim Ross have nothing on his disbelieving ass.


Related Video: The first theme, sans the creepy opening imagery: